Guest Post- Amanda Scopa-What it's like being an Outdoorsman's wife?

I'd like to introduce a great friend. She's the "cool wife" of one of my best friends- a longtime hiking companion. It recently dawned on me that she might be an untapped resource. She has always seemed supportive of his outdoor pursuits(backpacking, climbing, cycling, kayaking, sailing, and Scoutmaster-ing). He does it all, and she does it with him sometimes. But she rarely puts the brakes on one of our trips. For that, she has my admiration and thanks. So I asked her to explain what it was like, and what were her motivations for the support. Here she is... Amanda Scopa!

What it's like being an Outdoorsman's wife?

by Amanda Scopa

     Does your garage look like an outdoors store? Is your spouse frequently mentioning new gear that needs to be added to the collection?  Could you outfit a group of people with gear to go hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, skiing, snowboarding, or fishing?  If so, you might be married to an outdoorsman, or be an outdoorsman.  This is a different type of post. It is about being married to an obsessed outdoorsman.  Now "obsessed" might bring about a negative connotation to most, but that is not the truth. It just means he is dedicated.  A true outdoorsman goes out no matter the weather report, no matter the looks he gets from less dedicated friends or his wife (myself included).  Being a wife to an outdoorsman brings excitement, exhaustion from trying to keep up, and truly a life you can look back on with no regrets.  

     Overall, I have been told that I am the "cool wife" so I may not be objective in telling the story of being married to my outdoor loving husband.  Although I do like being outdoors myself, mostly it is the views I go for.  If the weather is cold or rainy, I would rather curl up with a good book, or a movie next to a fire and let my crazed husband go on his own.  Unfortunately good therapists, marriage books, and even my gut instinct tells me that every once in a while I should.  To understand this reasoning you have to know my husband and know that he is so much more satisfied in our marriage when I do go.

     Frank is the most dedicated, fun loving, trustworthy, friend and partner in life.  Between his search for adventure and wanting to live his life to the fullest, he stays pretty busy.  Not to mention we have an almost two year old son and a career that sometimes wants to suck the life out of him.  Sometimes life gets in the way of Frank.  The Frank I know and love is a laid back person that wants to live his life to the fullest.  So much so at the end of it he wants to be is exhausted, because everyone knows "You can rest when you're dead."  I know it's time to get him outside when he seems down and out, gets frustrated easily, and he comes home talking about work a little too negatively. This I have found is true for most outdoorsmen.

     The key is most people do not understand what it is like to shut the phone off, remove oneself from the constant drama of life, and experience true peace in the sounds of the woods.  As someone that does like to get out and take her fair share of pictures of nature I can try to encompass what it feels like, but probably won't come close.  Take my advice and go out and experience it yourself, even if just for the day (can I please say don't go on a trail that has 400 other visitors, it misses the purpose).  The following is my attempt at giving you a glimpse at the wonderland of nature and why these men and women love it so much.

     There is a transformation that happens the second your car has been parked at a trailhead, and you start hiking down a well worn path or even a barely distinguished trail.  A moment of excitement on what the journey will bring, and then a split second of here goes nothing.  Plus, without all the noise of town suddenly your ears seem to perk up and you hear noises you are sure weren't there a second beforehand.  Then the final thing that I always  notice is this deep breath I take.  Like it is my first breath of a new life for a few days, when all of the problems or stressors I'm dealing with fade, because it doesn't matter out here.  You feel stronger, more relaxed, and whether there is easy conversation or not it is nice having a little fellowship of friends experiencing the adventure ahead. But it's not just the trip itself.  There's the planning and anticipation at the beginning, at the end there are all the great stories to be retold.  And no trip would be complete without a great meal at some hole-in-the-wall diner, all the better because you just truly accomplished something.  An outdoorsman will savor each aspect of the trip and make its enjoyment last much longer than the time spent in the woods.   You have survived by your own hand and led your feet so that your eyes could see breathtaking vistas and maybe even a little wildlife.  Plus at the end you look back on those moments of hard hills that were climbed and realized you appreciate the fact your body was able to summit those hills.  

     What I love about being an outdoorsman's wife is that life is never boring.  Let me repeat that, never boring.  Now there are hard moments of being an outdoorsman's wife when all you really want to do is hang out at home or cook a good meal.  Then your beloved significant other expresses the need to go visit the woods.  For the most part I try to remember that I am not a true outdoors girl, and that those moments of solitude in the woods are not my survival methods for dealing with daily life, but they are my husband's.  The thing to remember is that if he can go out and cope with his stresses then he is going to come back so much happier, a better husband and father because he has decompressed.  Plus he is grateful that you are understanding enough to let him go and experience his other love, God's creation.  And who can argue with that?